• Challengers

    Challengers

    ★★★★½

    Hey we saw you from across the tennis court and really dig your vibe, do you want to engage in a biblical level throuple over multiple decades

  • Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver

    Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver

    ★½

    In the first one there was this scene where Tarak has to tame that horse bird thing and it made me cry. If it were up to me Zack Snyder would just make vibe movies about magical creatures and muscly men

  • Showgirls

    Showgirls

    ★★★★

    Verhoeven’s Casino, where was the bad part?

  • Abigail

    Abigail

    ★★½

    It’s possible I just have a very short-lived appetite for the brand of horror that Radio Silence puts out, but this felt very conveyor belt to me compared to the witty, fully realized thrill ride of Ready or Not (they share a lot of similarities). Of course the premise is fun and makes for some pleasing moments of blood and guts, and the cast is easily the strongest element, but lots of jokes don’t work and I just can’t get…

  • The Greatest Hits

    The Greatest Hits

    ★★★

    “Thanks for setting the night on fire” should earn jail time

  • Bicycle Thieves

    Bicycle Thieves

    ★★★★

    First stop in my mini year of Italian cinema! Pretty devastating picture of desperation and division in the working class, where small acts of kindness earn a life debt. Sad that almost 80 years later this appreciation for the moral grays of survival in a broken system isn’t commonplace. He better stop sprinting off without Bruno or he’s gonna be childless too!

  • Legend

    Legend

    ★★★★★

    This movie just makes so much sense to me. Everyone say thank you Rob Bottin

  • Strange Way of Life

    Strange Way of Life

    ★★

    Appreciate the sentiment re: Almodóvar’s response to Brokeback Mountain but unfortunately a lot of it plays like one of those fake trailers before Tropic Thunder. Also distressed by the lighting on actors’ faces simply not matching with where the windows are

  • The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

    The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

    ★★½

    I will be first in line for a Guy Ritchie film until I die, but I haven’t felt that edge from him in a while and at this point it just feels like wasted potential. He approaches basically his Inglourious Basterds with a nonchalance we’ve seen before - they’re slicing through Nazis like butter, blowing shit up with reckless abandon, and somehow always getting away with it. It’s charming, but I’d be hard pressed to note a sequence in here that…

  • Metropolis

    Metropolis

    ★★★★★

    Bro was down so bad he gained class consciousness. Anyways I will literally never look at movies the same again

  • The First Omen

    The First Omen

    ★★★½

    For all the talk about Immaculate being shocking, The First Omen kind of just showed them up with the freaky shit! There are definitely signs of some studio-influenced editing tomfoolery, which was to be expected from an addition to a franchise like this and can hobble the narrative at times. Sad, but Arkasha Stevenson’s direction shines through with a heavy assist from Nell Tiger Free’s star making performance. Real ones have known how great she is since Servant. Really gorgeous…

  • Final Destination

    Final Destination

    ★★★

    Me during the first part of the movie: it’s fine. I like the concept but it could be executed better. Clear Rivers is a dumb name. 
    Tony Todd: *exists*
    Me: is this the best movie ever? 

    House of Horrors - Rotten Horror Month: FINAL DESTINATION✈️