"The owls are not what they seem"
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Gremlins 1984
The Gremlins did Nothing Wrong
A: They didn't ask to be born.Their very existence was brought about by negligence and an unwillingness to follow the most basic rules. Imagine how you'd act if you came into this world unwanted, despised, feared and misunderstood. God forbid they act out in a manner unbecoming of those who look to destroy them.
B: They only killed those who deserved it.
Mrs. Deagle was a royal bitch who wanted to kill Barney in…
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The Church 1989
This movie is wildly entertaining if a bit uneven. It's like the skeezy cousin of Carpenters Prince of Darkness. I find it very amusing that Soavi wanted to make a more respectable horror film instead of what this basically is, Demons 3, but apparently producer Dario Argento had other things in mind. I like to imagine their interactions went something like this:
M: Hey Dario your secretary says you want to go over some things?D: Michele, we need to…
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The Burning 1981
If one person would've done their job, a job they were paid to do, 10 people would still be alive.
After five excruciating years in the burn ward dealing with countless abrasion sessions and failed skin grafts, caretaker Cropsey is reluctantly released back to civilization. With skin looking like a melted pile of earthworms, and an incessant unbearable pain, he's forced to walk amongst the populace covered from head to toe so as not to draw ridicule and disgust.
Now,…
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Demon Wind 1990
Although this starts off with some nice John Carpenter vibes, things pretty quickly take a left turn towards Rubén Galindo Jr. territory with a strong case of the Evil Dead's. While there's plenty to like here, and most of it's absurd, the movie runs out of steam and ideas at the 3/4 mark when our ever dwindling group of teens spend an eternity shooting small holes in an ever increasing group of demons. It's almost as if Writer/Director Charles Philip…
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The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker 2023
Pretty interesting doc about a mentally ill man doing things that mentally ill people do and being exploited to do so by a bunch of industry vultures who in turn act shocked when this man does a heinous crime that is exactly like what he has been saying he would do on social media. Everyone sucks here.
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