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  • May the 12th Be with You

    May the 12th Be with You 2024

    ½ Watched 10 May 2024

    Holy shit THAT'S what Marge sounds like now????? Please free Julie Kavner oh my God

    Deeply dire, artless, soulless, godless abomination. What are the jokes in this? When a ship lands and Ahsoka walks out of it, what's the joke there? That Ahsoka showed up??? And why does she have that fuckass Hutt baby from the Clone Wars movie?

    The credits music is literally just a random piece of the Phantom Menace score from the scene where they leave Coruscant for Naboo. It doesn't even fit here! What are you DOING

  • Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate

    Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate 2024

    ½ Watched 01 Mar 2024

    OppenheimerStare.jpg

  • Queen Dracula

    Queen Dracula 2017

    ½ Watched 10 Feb 2024 2

    For once it's my own damn fault I watched this and not William's

  • Miranda Sings Live... Your Welcome

    Miranda Sings Live... Your Welcome 2019

    ½ Watched 27 Jan 2024 5

    i watched this against my will

    How was anyone surprised about her being a groomer???

  • The Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa

    The Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa 2002

    ½ Watched 16 Dec 2023 3

    ANIMATION. IS. CINEMA.

  • What's Up: Balloon to the Rescue!

    What's Up: Balloon to the Rescue! 2009

    ½ Watched 15 Sep 2023 3

    THE DEMON OF BABYLON DISGUISES HIMSELF WITH THE COAT OF THE RIGHTEOUS

  • Belle's Magical World

    Belle's Magical World 1998

    ½ Rewatched 08 Jul 2023

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK I HATE THIS ISJENFIDJWHDJFOENEHFIOGNEHEOFNEHEOFO43BJFOFN2BDFKEUCO4EVXPENFBXPOHRO3O2HFJ2ORO3PRHDJFPCJEFHFI

  • PAW Patrol: The Movie

    PAW Patrol: The Movie 2021

    ½ Watched 11 May 2023 3

    Unwatchable neolib claptrap. Genuinely ungratiating lowest common denominator pop fascism Neolithic capitalist trash, leaving a turgid atmosphere of phonetically unremarkable serendipity in its wake. Culture is dead and the ingrates who support unfathomably inert and artistically barren shovelware such as this must never be allowed to procreate. Cannot wait for said degenerates to share this review and write actual responses to a bunch of random buzzwords I threw together with no rhyme or reason. I have not actually seen this film.

  • The Hunchback of Notre Dame II

    The Hunchback of Notre Dame II 2002

    ½ Watched 13 Jan 2023 2

    I'm going to throw up

  • Attack of the Killer Donuts

    Attack of the Killer Donuts 2016

    ½ Added 1

    Sounds like it'd be fun

    But no

  • Hop

    Hop 2011

    ½ Added 3

    Hop is a 2011 American live-action/computer-animated comedy film produced by Illumination Entertainment, in association with Relativity Media, and distributed by Universal Pictures. The film was directed by Tim Hill and produced by Chris Meledandri and Michele Imperato Stabile, with a screenplay written by Brian Lynch, Cinco Paul, and Ken Daurio. Paul and Daurio also conceived the film's story. The film stars James Marsden, Russell Brand, Kaley Cuoco, Hank Azaria, Gary Cole, Elizabeth Perkins, David Hasselhoff, Chelsea Handler, and Hugh Laurie.…

  • The Gingerweed Man

    The Gingerweed Man 2021

    ½ Added

    Hark Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father the Sea King rise from the depths full foul in his fury! Black waves teeming with salt foam to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs til’ ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more -- only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slitherin’ tentacle tail and steaming beard take up his fell be-finned arm, his coral-tine trident screeches banshee-like…