• Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

    Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

    ★½

    You know what? I've seen worse

  • May the 12th Be with You

    May the 12th Be with You

    ½

    Holy shit THAT'S what Marge sounds like now????? Please free Julie Kavner oh my God

    Deeply dire, artless, soulless, godless abomination. What are the jokes in this? When a ship lands and Ahsoka walks out of it, what's the joke there? That Ahsoka showed up??? And why does she have that fuckass Hutt baby from the Clone Wars movie?

    The credits music is literally just a random piece of the Phantom Menace score from the scene where they leave Coruscant for Naboo. It doesn't even fit here! What are you DOING

  • Queen Christina

    Queen Christina

    ★★★★

    Omg there was only one bed

  • Away

    Away

    ★★★

    Watch out Phil Nibbelink, there's a new animator who made an entire film by himself in town

    Didn't grip me the whole time but I appreciate the look, feel, and overall ambition!

  • Ernest Goes to Africa

    Ernest Goes to Africa

    I expected the "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa" of the Ernest franchise and instead I got the "Cars 2" mixed with racism

  • Punch Punch Forever!

    Punch Punch Forever!

    ★★★★

    Wait hold up this is actually really good

  • Unfrosted

    Unfrosted

    ★½

    I came to an unfortunate revelation about 15 minutes into this limp embarrassing farce: the concept of a cereal company feud being treated with the same weight and importance as the space race is a genuinely funny idea.

    I suppose it's quite an amazing feat to waste such a strong concept on some of the most deeply unfunny writing I've seen in quite some time. I laughed precisely once throughout this whole ordeal, and that was merely at the sight…

  • Oldboy

    Oldboy

    ★★★½

    The twist was very obvious but I still gasped

  • Jesus Christ Superstar

    Jesus Christ Superstar

    ★★★

    No offense to Judas in this, but we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises

  • ted

    ted

    ★★★★

    Is he doing fucking Pippin?

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road

    ★★★★★

    Watched this for the first time in years, completely forgot that one of Joe's henchmen just looks like The Penguin

  • Spider-Man 3

    Spider-Man 3

    ★★★★★

    Cycles between one of the most compelling, devastating portraits of a morally shaken hero ever put in a comic book movie, and some of the most batshit insane structural and narrative decisions the genre has ever seen. The resulting mixture is so tantalizing, so impossible to look away from, that it honestly confounds me whenever I try to pinpoint a legitimate critical score for it. There is simply nothing like Spider-Man 3. I go into it excited for its legendary…