• The Strangers: Prey at Night

    The Strangers: Prey at Night

    ★★★★

    There’s a truckload of zooms and split diopter shots, genre references from Christine to The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, liberal use of a fog machine, all soundtracked by a late night 80s radio station and a synth score heavily indebted to John Carpenter. In other words, it kinda rules.

  • Mother of the Bride

    Mother of the Bride

    ★½

    Well it does have characters and a plot so i suppose it technically qualifies as a “movie”

  • Arcadian

    Arcadian

    ★★

    One of the more ridiculous creature designs i’ve seen. So silly it can’t help but catch your attention, shame the rest of this is mostly a Cage-less slog.

  • Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

    Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

    ★★★½

    Apes together long

    Still one of the most consistent franchises. Raka MVP, astonishing VFX work.

  • Meet the Fockers

    Meet the Fockers

    ★★★½

    Robert De Niro wearing a rubber breast to breastfeed a toddler is the cherry on top of a long, illustrious career

  • The Strangers

    The Strangers

    ★★★

    I think this was better when i was 13. Some of the jump scares here are pretty egregious. Who knew opening a curtain could be so loud.

  • Mad Max

    Mad Max

    ★★★½

    The dream is going to bed every night to the sweet sounds of a sax solo

  • War for the Planet of the Apes

    War for the Planet of the Apes

    ★★★★

    Maurice the GOAT

  • Spider-Man 3

    Spider-Man 3

    ★★★★

    The moment in the jazz club where Peter whips off his jacket and the sheer power causes Gwen’s hair to blow back…that’s cinema

  • The Fall Guy

    The Fall Guy

    ★★★

    every action movie should have a French stunt dog

  • Meet the Parents

    Meet the Parents

    ★★★★

    it’s funny because his name is Gaylord Focker

  • The Mummy

    The Mummy

    ★★★★★

    Well if it ain’t my little buddy Beni. I think i’ll kill you.